Yes, I know this is a repost--- but I think these are funny so here they are again:
70 things to do if you are going to fail a test
1.Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam. 12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Crap this!" and walk out triumphantly.
14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go party.)
15. 15 min. into the test, randomly yell out so everyone can hear, “NO! FOR THE LAST TIME! YOU CAN’T CHEAT OFF MY TEST! 15 min. later yell out, “NO! YOU CANNOT DATE MY MOM!
16. Comment on how nice the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
20. Bring some large, old Bible. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach. 22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
24. Start running around in circles yelling “TEST? WHAT (BLEEP)ING TEST?
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.
32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E...."
34. Start sobbing. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #__ moved you, deeply.
35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect. 36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam. 37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen. 38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.
39. Repeat if necessary on someone different.
40. Come down with a BAD case of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Start writing, then yell out in pain, “OH MY GOSH, MY FRICKING HAND!” Point at the instructor. “YOU! YOU DID THIS TO ME!” Repeatedly threaten to sue.
41. Start singing. When asked to stop, calmly ask anyone else if they’d like to participate in “Karaoke Time”
42. Look at the test. Look at the ceiling as if waiting for someone. When asked what you are doing, yell out, “DANG IT! I KNEW THAT SWAT TEAM STOOD ME UP!”
43. Bring a glue stick. Glue anything you have with you onto the test. Pencils, pens, scissors, etc…
44. Bring a Darth Vader Helmet. Breathe very loudly like Vader does. When asked to stop, say to the instructor: “Jerry (name), I am your father”, then pull out a plastic saber and pretend to kill all the rebels… complete with sound effects.
45. Pretend to hit yourself in the head realllly hard. (Like walk into the test room door) Then fall down and pretend to be unconscious. 1 min later. Jump up screaming, “WHAT THE HECK!?? WHO AM I? WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?” If they don’t buy it, just pretend not to know all the answers: “WHAT IS THIS CRAP?”
46. Point at someone nearby. Yell out, “ s/he’s hyperventilating! I know CPR! Run over and start punching him on the chest. Repeatedly.
47. Fold the test into a paper airplane. Write “STEALTH FIGHTER” All over it. Throw it at the instructor. If he sees you, Ask for another test. Repeat if necessary.
48. Bring sunglasses with you to the test. Pretend to fall asleep. When told to wake up, say back to him, “Oh don’t worry, this is just a nightmare, I’ll wake up soon right back where I was last, in Hawaii.” Continue sunbathing.
49. Pull the fire alarm.
50. Scribble all over the test. Blame it on the guy next to you.
51. When handed the test, proudly say "Mee no speek eengleesh. Habla Espanol?"
52. Bring a football helmet(preferably redskins) When handed the test say. "DOWN ...SET...HUT.HUT" Ball the test up. Yell, "GO LONG," and throw it in the trash can. Then triumphantly yell: "TOUCHDOWN!!!"
53. Set the test on fire. Turn it in. Walk away.
54. Bring ketchup packets. Be creative.
55. Yell out, "CLOTHES ARE OVERRATED!" Dispose of any clothing. Run away.
56. Fold the test into a triangle and play tabletop football.
57. Say "LETS BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND!!!!" Detonate the pipe bomb in your desk.
58. Bring Diet Coke and some mint mentos. Put the mentos in the soda and aim the bottle at the instructor.
59. Play your PSP all during the class time periodically yelling out "OH MAN I LOST"
60. Have a panic attack when you receive the test: "AH! HELP ME ! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! I CAN'T DO IT!
61. No, just kidding, there is no 61.
62. Use a friend's cell phone(bonus points if its the instructors) and put a VERY annoying ring tone on it. Hide it in the ceiling. Then at the start of the test, repeatedly call the cell phone.
63.Volunteer to hand out all the tests ( say it very politely.) When the teacher agrees, set them all on fire.
64.Bring shaving cream. Shave using scissors.
65.Have a friend call you right in the middle of the test. Tell your teacher that you "Really gotta take this" and walk out.
66.Fill out the questions with a heavy duty extra strength sharpie. Fill out the test writing as hard as you can.
67. Gather as many facts as you can about martin luther king jr. Then recite them all. If the teacher asks you to stop, just yell:"I HAVE A DREAM!and continue. If asked to stop again just tell the teacher s/hes being racist.
68. Come decked out in camoflage with camo face paint and anything you have thats military related-- or is camo.
69. The next day comne in wearing a tuxedo. Then a really goofy hat/wig.
70. When asked to explain the unacceptable attire just start accusing the teacher of not having any "spirit week spirit"
These are VERY helpful. Remember, these can be used for many different test.
Thanks to
Facebook group
Club Penguin
Commando
